Despite what you may tell yourself in certain moments of solitude, life isn’t meant to be lived alone. Human beings are, by their very nature, social creatures who thrive on giving and receiving value from their counterparts.
This means that it’s perfectly normal to desire a healthy and loving relationship. And it’s just as normal to find it hard to attract a beautiful girl and turn her into your girlfriend, especially if you’re a relatively inexperienced male.
Simply put, the loosening of sexual mores, coupled with more progressive upbringings have led to the empowerment of women. This, in turn, translates to greater selectivity on their side when it comes to choosing a partner. Women are well aware of how many other men would line up if given the opportunity.
Far from being a crippling disadvantage, this dynamic actually benefits both sexes, since it removes guilt from the equation and allows relationships to flourish based on real attraction instead of a desire for financial stability and/or as a result of sexual frustration.
Of course, in order to benefit from the sexual freedom inherent in this day and age, you must first abandon your own insecurities. If you’re finding it hard to get a girlfriend, here are some of the most common obstacles men face when getting the girl they want, along with a few quick solutions to each one of them:
1. You’re not putting yourself in a position to meet new women.
Quick, write down the number of every girl you’ve come into direct contact with in the last week or so. If that number is in the low single digits, then you simply need to get out more.
Whether it’s nightclubs or libraries, beautiful women abound, but you need to step out of your comfort zone (and your house) to notice them. It’s extremely difficult to get a girlfriend if you aren’t going to the places where women hang out. This is pretty much everywhere, except your living room couch, so grab a buddy and go mingle.
Also, if you’re deathly afraid of approaching random women when you’re out in public, then don’t be afraid to use popular dating apps like Tinder or OkCupid. The idea is to interact with enough women to reduce any anxiety you may still feel around them. The more women you come into contact with on a daily basis (both online and offline), the better your chances of finding the girlfriend you want.
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2. You expect the women around you to guess your feelings.
While women are generally more intuitive than men when it comes to deducing intentions, it’s pointless to just assume they’ll walk over and declare their affection for you. Instead, take the initiative, make the first move, and make your interest clear to them from the very beginning.
Without appearing too desperate, you can simply ask them if they’d like to hang out and take it from there.
3. You let your frustration get the best of you.
Being rejected stings, and loneliness can build up over time and harden you as a person. But that shouldn’t be an excuse to act as if the world owes you something or as if every woman on the planet is evil and out to hurt you.
Regardless of what you’ve heard about women preferring douchebags as boyfriends, the reality is only a well-rounded individual can truly find happiness with another person. So get to work on being in good shape, both mentally and physically, before you begin your pursuit of somebody else.
4. You play pretend far too much.
Newsflash: almost every successful date requires you to be on your best behavior, to sand off some of your rough edges, and to look the part of a person who’s fun to be around. That being said, eliminating all your quirks and playing possum will only have the effect of turning you into a generic version of yourself, and that rarely succeeds in landing a second date.
Believe it or not, every guy goes through stretches when the opposite sex just doesn’t show that much interest. You might find it hard to get a girlfriend right now, but there’s no need to despair. After all, true love, as well as jaw-droppingly amazing sex, comes to those who know what they want and aren’t afraid to seek it.